Post by noah lee bannon on Aug 26, 2011 23:06:16 GMT -5
NOAH lee BANNON
"my religion is you"
"my religion is you"
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the following is an interview conducted by deirdre daniels, sixth year ravenclaw, for the sugar quill, bi-monthly school newspaper. it was recorded onto what vaguely resembles a cassette tape. the object was found in a trash bin on the second floor, and has been partially destroyed. it bears the label "noah, july twenty sixth &heart;" written in a girlish scrawl.
DEIRDRE DANIELS: [click] Oh, oh, hi Noah! I was just about to pack up.
NOAH BANNON: What, you doubted that I could come?
DEIRDRE DANIELS: Uh, no, of course not. Well, yes, I did get a little worried.
NOAH BANNON: You know I’d do anything for you, Baby Dee. Sorry I’m late, I should have sent someone to tell you.
DEIRDRE DANIELS: Er, uhm, yeah. No, you didn’t. Have to, I mean.
NOAH BANNON: [chair sliding against marble] So why am I here again?
DEIRDRE DANIELS: My, er, colleagues asked me to interview you for the school newspaper, as you’re incoming quidditch captain and all. You said that was okay when I asked you about it last week.
NOAH BANNON: Oh, oh yeah, I did. So, wanna get started?
DEIRDRE DANIELS: Are you going to keep sitting like that?
NOAH BANNON: Yeah, why? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?
DEIRDRE DANIELS: No, of course not, that would be ridiculous. [throat clearing] So, Mr. Bannon, where were you born?
NOAH BANNON: Mr. Bannon? I like the sound of that.
DEIRDRE DANIELS: Answer the damn question.
NOAH BANNON: Jeezus, I was just trying to have some fun! Calm your tits. I was born in Virgina Water, Surrey on August third, 2008 at around four o’clock in the afternoon. It’s pretty posh little village, Virgina Water, on a lake and very beautiful. We lived out there because my dad is kinda a big deal on the Muggle scene, he’s in movies. You know, like long, moving pictures.
DEIDRE DANIELS: And your mom?
NOAH BANNON: I was just getting to her. She doesn’t live with us, my dad, my stepmom and I. She lives in a flat in London with her artsy, bohemian lover. I see her maybe once a year, but I’m here at Hogwarts anyway. She doesn’t know I’m here.
DEIDRE DANIELS: That’s so sad.
NOAH BANNON: Not really. She’s the one who chose not to be in my life. Anyway, what does this have to do with my Quidditch captaincy?
DEIDRE DANIELS: [crinkling of paper] Uh, so, how were your years before Hogwarts?
NOAH BANNON: I was a wealthy Muggleborn kid. What do you think I did?
DEIRDRE DANIELS: I have no idea, what?
NOAH BANNON: Hired prostitutes.
DEIRDRE DANIELS: … no.
NOAH BANNON: Yeah, but seriously, my stepmother is as good as one. She’s a witch, but the only magic I’ve ever seen her do are anti-aging spells. She’s the one who told me when I was eleven, and handed me my acceptance letter to boot. My dad was pretty pissed, he had spent a bunch of money and time getting me into the best prep schools in the UK. She eventually persuaded him to let me go though. With her body. When I first came to Hogwarts, I was deliberately trying not to be amazed. I loved being in a place of privilege in the Muggle world, and it was hard to give that up. It didn’t help, either, that I was sorted into Hufflepuff. I thought that I would be valiant enough to be in Gryffindor, or cunning enough to be in Slytherin. It wasn’t meant to be though, and now I love my house.
DEIRDRE DANIELS: Your house spirit really comes out when you play Quidditch!
NOAH BANNON: My God, that was so corny. Did you like, write that down as a legitimate part of this conversation?
DEIDRE DANIELS: Yeah, I might have prepared that...
NOAH BANNON: So you thought of that, and decided to keep it, thinking that it would contribute postively to your interview, which, by the way, is weird and bordering upon creepy? Is this even actually for the newspaper?
DEIRDRE DANIELS: Of course it is! It’s just that, well, my friends told me that if I spent more time with you, our relationship wouldn’t be awkward anymore.
NOAH BANNON: What relationship? We don’t have a relationship, we hooked up once. And I was drunk. We’re not even friends.
DEIRDRE DANIELS: I thought that maybe, you know, if you got to know me better, [indistinguishable]
NOAH BANNON: I’m not interested in you, I came because I thought you were going to take your clothes off. Sadly, I was disappointed. Are you telling people that we’re in a relationship?
DEIRDRE DANIELS: N-no! [sniffle]
NOAH BANNON: So now you’re going to start crying.
DEIRDRE DANIELS: Can you l-leave? [hiccup]
NOAH BANNON: Yeah, sure. Can’t stand the waterworks. See you around, baby doll.
[click]
alias; ebb
experience; four, five?
character house; hufflepuff
character year; sixth
character side; neutral
other chars; none
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